Forget President Kabuleta; here comes NSSF’s Gideon!


All is fair in love and war, so goes the saying, which means that the rules of fair play do not apply in situations of love and war. Especially war.I am here thinking of my friend and erstwhile colleague, Joseph Kabuleta who not only wants to be the next president of Uganda, but insists other aspirants except the incumbent should rally behind him, because he is the only one with a clear message – money! 

“Money is a universal language,” Kabuleta says simply in answer to queries that he is elitist and may not reach the grassroots. Kabuleta says everybody wants money and his campaign platform is letting everybody access Uganda’s wealth rather than if being enjoyed by a few.Unique and clear message! But before it even started sinking in, in comes Gideon Tugume with a message that is not only unique, but is also more specific as to which money and how to get it.

Where does that leave my man Kabuleta?I know the battle for President is a real war – about power – where the rules of fair play may not apply. But shouldn’t Kabuleta have been allowed about a month of uniqueness in the field of presidential aspirants for his unique pitch to gain currency?“Kabulet’aleta sente!” the slogan should have gone – from Moroto to Kisoro, Arua to Mutukula, and the guy would have become a household name. For whatever the amount sente, whether the recipient is rich or poor, who wouldn’t want the busente and the guy to kubuleta? But alas! Kabuleta even as a Pastor in this massively Christian country, is about to suffer a big Biblical knock! For most voters being Christians should be familiar with the story of Gideon in the Bible. Gideon came up when God’s people were under very difficult times, like they are suffering today under Covid-19. Gideon was weak, and hardly known when he was given the assignment to help the Israelites.

He was a timid fellow but he was persuaded to take up the dangerous mission of fighting the powerful, heavily armed Midianites by an angel of the Lord. The small army of 32,000 fighter Gideon assembled was no match for the numerous Midianites. And the mission being so dangerous, 10,000 who were cowards were sent back home, leaving Gideon with only 22,000 men. Furthermore, the Lord disqualified those who knelt down touching the ground with their hands to drink water, and only 300 hundred men who took it in the proper way remained.

So the SOPs requiring you not just to touch any surfaces did not start with Covid-19. Anyway, to cut a long story short, Gideon’s men, a mere 300 of them, beat of the highly numerous Midianites and saved their country. They made a lot on noise using what must have been the equivalent of empty tins, like Gideon of Uganda wants to use and either intentionally or inadvertently eclipse my man Kabuleta.Gideon Tugume, 46, is soon to be the man of the moment. He is using his patron saint’s strategy of smaller numbers efficiently to deliver victory. He has narrowed his selection down to NSSF members, a mere 1.5m of the country’s 45m people, to fight for the people’s right to food and cash in the face of the deadly covid-19.

Uganda’s Gideon is rallying them to stage demonstration across the country on Monday to and remain at the NSSF offices until each member is given five million shillings without any discrimination. Besides paying each member sh5m, the MD Richard Byarugaba must eaten humble pie and apologize for not paying out 20% of members’ savings as earlier demanded.This is where Gideon has beaten Kabuleta –  he is to the point and very specific in his clear demands.

Although they both want to give money to the masses, Gideon is very clear as to the source of the money which he  has identified and has stipulated how it is to be paid out.Though well articulated, Kabuleta’s call is still rather theoretical for the ordinary man on the street to grasp. Should Gideon’s ‘men’ defeat ‘Byarugaba’s Midianites’ whom he accuses of having caused the death of NSSF members from hunger by refusing to pay them their 20%, the mobiliser will have become unstoppable.

So the new aspirants who have come with a bang on scene like Kabuleta will have to rally behind Gideon to lead the onslaught to sweep the NRM out of power. For Gideon will have the numbers and is set to envelope the country with scientific demonstrations in a bid to secure five million for each demonstrator and even those who will stay home for failure to follow the SOPs, as happened thousands of years ago.

Who wouldn’t like to pocket sh5m in the state we are all in? Everybody will follow Gideon and the NRM fellows will just flee without even putting up a fight. According to Gideon, the money would only be recovered at the point of a member’s exit from NSSF. Obviously everyone would join NSSF, especially those in their 20s, knowing that by the time of having the 5m recovered three decades later, they will be worth hundreds of million and feel nothing.
Step aside all ye aspirants whose offers are still vague; give way to Gideon Tugume – the candidate who will put sh5m in everybody’s pocket, and give the power to the workers of Uganda!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *